Endings are Introspective

I haven’t finished my book project “ Three Weeks and a Hurricane “ yet, but I think I’ve figured out an aspect of its ending. In my life, there are certain things I think that most people eventually want, something they discover within themselves that gives them a sense of self-worth. Something that makes them say, “Dammit, I DESERVE MORE!”. Whatever this “thing” is, be it a desire to have more respect from people, more income or just more food on the table, I think at some point people have that point they reach when they become aware of what they need. A lot of times when I’m writing, like most people I focus on the story, and I focus on the characters, the plot, the outline, the ins and outs of their lives and their perceptions. I feed those things into the characters to make them become more real, more alive. But in this project, its non-fiction. Its all about me, my thoughts, my views and expectations. In this story, I’m the protagonist, I’m the man with the plan. The situations are all mine, the pain real and whatever desires true. Its not a character sketch I did up in Word in fifteen minutes. It’s a representation of a person who’s been alive for twenty-five years. Its truth in its most pure form.
The ending to this story I believe is not just a search for meaning in my life as it relates to what I want to achieve, but how I want to be treated as well. I’m sure you’ve all heard the stories about models or actors or business people who are very successful talk about those time periods when people told them they couldn’t do it, or they wouldn’t make it. Everytime we see these interviews, or read about them in one of our magazines, we laugh, because we don’t believe it. But its true. Most people have to hear they can’t do it before they really try, or life breaks them in two. I think I desire that as well, for people to know who I am to some extent, to have a basic consideration that comes with being a person who’s alive and trying to do what’s right. This is probably writing more suited for the pages of some unwritten screenplay as the monologue of some jaded character, but it’s the prevailing thought in my mind right now. A large aspect of “Three Weeks” dealt with some personal challenges I was having at the time, and how I felt and reacted to them.
New situations can always stir up those past emotions, and pain and regret can flood your system constantly, but that's an aspect of writing that's the most powerful. These thoughts and feelings are the things that can lead us to the paper with pen in hand, or to the keyboard. Maybe some people have bad situations so they can write about it. Or maybe some people need to write about certain situations so they can move on. Who knows.Maybe in a later blog I’ll go into details. I can see what I want as clear as day, but its on the top of a mountain and I’m in the middle somewhere and I’m almost out of rope, but I’m smiling because I’m still hoping.
I shall return anon.