Pretty Man Stand

At 8 p.m this evening I was in the library.

Right now its 3:07 a.m, so technically i'm supposed to say, "yesterday evening I was in the library." However, I'm speaking the present tense, so I don't really care. It's one of those weekends--a blur of alcohol and a forgotten credit card---that leaves me thinking its going to be pretty goood. Its the columbus weekend, and I want to make the most of it, with as much revelry and little sleep as possible.

Today I studied for two hours on the history of various races of people in America. I wonder how many people know that it wasn't until the 1970's that Japanese Americans were able to be citizens of the United States, or that the history of America is pretty clouded (and mostly white) which leaves the educational system in a very slanted way? I've been reading Media Messages, a book by the author Linda Holtzman, which is extremely well researched. Her arguments makes sense, and she does her research from the point of view of a white, Jewish woman who is trying to be unbiased, but notes that being a member of the 'privilidged' class may affet her research in some way.

It left me thinking about certain things. I do know that the history of America is rather blurry. Andrew Jackson did many things to destroy the livelihood of many Americna Indians in the past(i.e kiling and exiling ) , but he is revered as an American hero based on other things he did. Many people believe that Asian Americans have had it "easy" but the truth shows that many are immigrants who have faced serious discrimination and hardships, even legislative issues that hampered their progress in the United Sates. Even though 90% of all railroad workers that built the railroads in the U.S were Chinese, there are rarely any photographs of them working on the railroads.

Trippy eh?

Everyone knows the story of black Slavery and the subsequent fragmentation of classes (i.e mulatto, etc) but does everyone know that for 200 years the black families were subject to limited education, severe exlpoitation through rape and "property ownership" which severely affect their nuclear family structure? The more I research, the more I realize that most people probaby wouldnt' be aware of these facts, as the basis of these things start at a more elementary level.

The first time I ventured to the American Indian Museum in Washington D.C, there was a cinema inside, where every twenty minutes, they showed a video chronicling several Indian achievements. It was the day after Valentine's day when I went, and I was upset with my ex-girlfriend for being hesitant about giving me a gift. Nonetheless, we took a trip to the museum and I almost cried when I watched the videos. Such a broken and disenfranchised people, so much history lost... so much struggle.

I thought about that as I studied because I knew that I would most likely be heading to Wonderland later on. Wonderland is frequented by mostly white patrons, and reading this information put me in a mode of dialectic thinking. I wasn't angered by most of what I read, but some of what I read made me raise my eyebrows, or made my heart stutter a bit. There was so much information about media initiatives that stirred up racial antagonism (such as the 2,060 lynchings between 1900 to 1930). I can't even imagine that now. Many days if I'm walking home, I may see a young white lady. Maybe I will smile at her and say hello. Often she will say hell to me first.

I cannot imagine a time when me simply looking at a young white woman and saying hello would mean certain death for me. I absolutely cannot. But it was a reality not too long ago. These racial things always tickle the back of my spine. I don't ignore them, in some mad quest to forget the horrors of the past, but I always remember that the majority of people will never research these things or question them. I, as a scholar, studying these things will be all to acutely aware of many things which create the complex racial dynamic that we call the world, and many will be merely affected by it, and react to it. I think both sides are equal, the reactionary side and the scholarly side. We both have to work in some way to give each other information.

Even though I go out and dance with whoever, drink and find myself leaning on a wall, there are times I pause and remember that I am in the United States because of the sacrifice of those before me, as well as the countless others who died in ships, so that I may blog freely on the internet.

Peace.