Baby Blocking is Unethical

Its one of those days again.

I'm on the metro heading towards Farragut North, i'm standing akimbo in a train moving at probably seventy miles an hour, testing fate. Okay, i'm not standing Akimbo, but I am look through the lenses of the train (otherwise called Windows) and I'm wondering why I'm even on the metro so early the in week. To me the metro is a sacred place, relegated for Friday, Saturday and MAYBE Sunday usage. During the week, it is not to bee seen or touched.

While i'm bustling about in the thick crowd in the Chinatown station, I'm running towards the train and a man with his infant child in a very cheap looking baby carriage veers in front of me, even though he saw me coming. "Ouch." I said to myself."The baby block." Now, the 'baby block' isn't nearly as bad as the Jesus Cock Block, but its oddly familiar. The Jesus cock block was weird and downright strange in how it happened, but this, this was unethical. It is not fair for a man who has lived life, had sex (i'm assuming this and also assuming the child was his) to put this fragile, thirty something pound baby in the way of a semi-tallish guy who weights 175 pounds. It is unethical to assume that I even care about babies and that I would stop before I slam into the side of the pram, sending pacifiers and baby limbs flying asunder.

Luckily for the man, I pause my sprint and and allow him to go past me. He hurries along, blocking at least two more people before the tell tale sound everyone hears before "Doors Closing" chimes through hidden speakers in the Metro train. I'm glad that I stopped, because I really didn't want to have to explain to Metro Police why I sent a helpless child flying ten feet after his father was walking with him in a "calm, cool and collected manner" towards the train. I know it wasn't like that, but naturally that's what any protestant (and unethical father) would no doubt say to the police while they glare upon me with contempt. There are many other kinds of Baby phenomena i've witnessed, two of my favourites being the "traffic block" and "baby angst".
The traffic block happens when the unethical parent doesn't just assume the casual passerby is acutely aware of their baby's existence and are therefore in awe of the small life form, the parent assumes that HUMANITY itself has a vested interested in her 9 month project. At this junction, a parent will merely stroll onto a street of busy traffic, red, amber or green light and smile at the ensuing chaos as individuals maim, injure and kill themselves to save the anonymous child. I've seen this happen several times and it always baffles me how condifently these parents stare at the face of death on these roadways, when the face of life is staring back at them, blinking and unable to speak without the use of "goo" or "ga".

Baby angst is the reverse of this situation, where a woman or man assumes that everyone knows what a daunting task parenting is and are therefore believes it is okay for everyone to be privy to their bouts of annoyance in any situation. "Since I had my son, " a man might say. "I've had no time to myself!" Then he would probably attempt to slap me and then apologize for his "baby-induced" anger, or "babe-rage". Whatever the case, I tend to avoid pregnant or baby-carrying women who work in restaurants or public places because should they give me bad service, an odd look or a feral growl of dissent when I ask for that second glass of water, it is simply "understood" that I cannot say anything becase it is due to Baby angst.

Alas, I digress.